Stuck in domestic abuse

01-08-2012 | Dojo |

Thought I would go a bit into my personal life with this article and talk about how me and my family are suffering from domestic abuse currently. I will also give you some tips and advice at the end of the article.

The background.

My mother met my step dad around 9 years ago at work. They got into a relationship and decided to get married and have a child (my sister). Little did my mum know about my step fathers history because he had not been living in the area for long. He was arrested multiple times and was in a gang when he was younger. He was also a heavy alcoholic and did not get on with his family a lot. He did have kids with another two women and left them both. Only we learnt about this a little too late. After marriage he started to change into a horrible person from the nice person he acted as. He would threaten me and stop me doing things on the computer. Basically he controlled the whole of the family and was very manipulative.

At one stage he was drunk and me and him had an argument as we do most days and he locked me out in the garden and made me sleep there for the entire night, outside in the cold in just my clothes. He continued down the road of violence and threats to get what he wanted under the influence of alcohol. My mum would occasionally get fed up and kick him out only to take him back the next day for what she thought was for her families safety. This kept continuing for years and included my mum been threatened with a knife by him and many other things of which I will not go into detail. Anyway, things carried on like this and my mum became to scared to do anything about it. Which meant he had won. She did not love him no more (or so she says) but stayed with him because she knew that he would get much worse if she did anything about the issues.

Recent happenings.

My mum got pregnant again with my other sister just before Christmas and then finally came to the conclusion that things needed to change. So she kicked him out and filed for a divorce amidst another argument. He did not take well to this and since has tried to contact her loads and get to see us. He would go through a cycle of acting nice and then starting to use threats and promising that he would not go anywhere. Later on he turned up at the doorstep and was looking through the window because he was paranoid that my mother was seeing someone else (which she was not). The next door neighbours pointed it out to us and so we rang the police. Nothing really happened because we have no proof and the neighbours will not get involved with the police due to them all been criminals themselves. We sadly live in one of those areas where the police and the community do not mix well. So there was no proof. My mother took out a restraining order to stop him coming on the road. The other day he was seen on the road again and has been looking and checking up on us for a while every night which worries us. The police yet again did nothing about it because no one could prove it so they just gave him a curfew. They can not extend his restraining order because he only lives a road away and he would go into a persons back garden and watch us from there where it was legal. From the sounds of things he will not go away and he will just get worse, we can not move away because people will not help us with funding and with his past history he will not stop until my mother either takes him back or he moves on both of which I doubt will happen. So we are stuck at the moment and nothing will be done by anyone. It is very stressful and you are always living life on the edge and no one should have to suffer this.


I have been reading up on advice myself that I can. The best thing is to not get into it in the first place. Whilst that may be hard there is ways to know. Services are been made in the UK at least to be able to check up on your partners history before you end up with the same sorts of issues that we are putting up with. You can also use Google to find some advice numbers and ask them for some more information on what they can do to help you out. If you ever suffer from domestic abuse I hope you are able to get away from it and I hope it does not turn out like it has unfortunately turned out as for me. Hope this article helps you out and be sure to comment about anything related to domestic abuse below.

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